Synopsis: Bruce Wayne gets a call in Gibraltar where he's just beaten up what looks like hundreds of Man-Bat ninjas XD The woman on the other line wants to meet up with him :O
Bruce parachutes onto a high mountain top where she is and then they go skiing :O He spots a helicopter following her and nails it with one of the ski poles, taking it down! But it turns out just to be Paparazzi. They go to dinner and it's revealed that the woman, Jezebel and Bruce are old friends and her father was assasinated for what he believed in. :O Bruce said that he got over his parents deaths. >.>;;; LIAR!!! XDD
In Gotham a ridiculous looking pimp is arguing with some cops who want to hire some of his prostitutes. :o They refuse to work b/c the girls that go into this building, die. The cops insist the girls have to go in to pacify "him".
Batman interrupts and beats ppl up! :O
Batman grabs the pimp and roughs him up, then talks to the girls. He finds the youngest girl who he apparently knows, and gives her a Waynetech card telling her that they're hiring secretaries. The other prostitutes them him that the guy inside is a cop. :o
Batman goes into the building and several inner monologues later, he confronts this giant Bane-type guy wearing a Batman cape and cowl :O They fight and Batman thinks about how this is linked to the cop in the Batman costume who shot Joker in the face and how it all relates to the black casebook and how everybody's in danger :O Batman gets beaten up and Bane-Batman steps on his back with a sickening crack! Bane-Batman walks away leaving Batman lying on the ground with a huge footprint on his back!
Review: "Bent Cops. Monsters. Sick sweet smell of human flesh past its sell-by date. The crawling sixth sense that tells me I'm on to something rotten. I'm opening a can so full of worms you could bury your dead in there and they'd be bones by morning."
I thought we were DONE with this! This isn't even a prose issue!!!! >_<;;;
I rly dun think NEBODY actually thinks like this or has this sorta inner monologue.
Batman's rly mean to his prostitute friend :( She says she can't read or write and he says "I don't need to hear excuses. You can talk. You can smile and answer a phone, right?"
Um... and what happens when she has to take a message? What happens when she has to write a memo, or read a memo? >.> Being a secretary isn't just being cute, smiling and saying "HI!" to ppl.
Even a reception girl, which is what he said she can do, should know how to read and write. >.>;; But at least he IS trying to help.. in his sociopathic Batman way XD
He's handing out WAYNETECH CARDS NOW!?
Nightwing got Raptor's wife a job at Waynetech's warehouse. I can't remember the exact situations, but I know Batman and his Batfriends have been helping ppl get jobs at Waynetech and other places whenever they need help. :o
Isn't that just a LITTLE suspicious? And dun ppl wonder why Bruce Wayne seems okay that BATMAN is telling prostitutes to look for work at his company? >.>;;
And is Bruce Wayne PERSONALLY interviewing these girls or something? How can he guarantee that they'll get jobs there? Esp if they have no place to live, prolly can't type up a resume (since she can't READ OR WRITE) and since she can barely talk properly, wun make for a good interview. >.>;;
Also it amuses me b/c of this line from the (rly humourous) Government Manual for New Superheroes:
When in civilian mode, do not tell others that you are a superhero. Conversely, when you are in superhero mode, do not let on who you are the rest of the time with any specificity, even when you must forgo an opportunity to advance your civilian career or that of a close friend or relative. For example if your father is a glazier, you must keep yourself from handing out his business card even after a battle that leaves many large storefront windows shattered.
And here Batman is handing out Waynetech business cards and saying "here, ask them for a job, you'll get hired, promise" >.>;;;
Can't Batman direct her to Leslie Thompkins (is she still evil? I can't keep track nemore XD) or somebody and then THEY direct the girls to Waynetech? >.>;;
Batman is becoming more and more like Ironman XD How long until Batman "works" for Waynetech?
The rest of the story isn't very interesting either, since all that rly happened is that Batman beat some ppl up and then got beaten up by Bane-Batman >.>;;
And broke his back again. <.<;; Manhunter is featuring the old Manhunter becoming the new Azrael, so it's perfect timing!!! XDDD
OH!!! My friend Trish just pointed out something I completely missed! SHE CAN'T READ! HE GAVE HER A BUSINESS CARD!!!! XDDDDDDD That's MEAN! >:O
Neways... I'm thinking of dropping this book. >.>;; Morrison can be a rly good writer, but right now he seems obsessed with the similes and making stories that aren't interesting, are uber violent, and are making me go O_O;; WTF!????
Also Bruce Wayne throws a ski pole perfectly aimed at a trailing helicopter that nobody paid much attention to and blew it out of the sky. >.> Honestly, does he even care about his sekrit identity at all!? XDDD He tries to play it off as an accident. Riiight. How many times has a ski pole "accidentally" flown straight into the air like a bullet slamming perfectly into the rotor mechanism of a helicoptor that's hundreds of feet above the skiers!? I'd be surprised if it even happened ONCE in human history XD
Hitting that helicoptor looks rly hard to do on purpose much less by accident!!!! >.>;;
On a side note, I think Batman rly needs an associate who runs a social work clinic or something, something that he can use to fight the roots of crime while he tackles the symptoms. :)
Actually, it's a wasted opportunity that Diana (wanting to know more about humans and work with them) didn't take something like THAT as her sekrit identity. :( Instead she has a secret agent job that isn't going to tell her how regular normal society works or nething >.>;; Her goal with the identity was to get to know the ppl she's saving better. Yet, she works in an elitist government institution. I'm sure the ppl working there aren't ppl who need her to save them >.>;;;
Angelwings Rating: 2 Bane-Batmen out of 5 Bat-Banemen
Recommendation: If you want a good laugh, you might want to check this issue out. XD There's a lot of rly unintentionally amusing stuff XDDD But for an actual Batman story, this isn't very good at all :(